Questions…

I’ve had some people writing to me to ask me how I’ve been.  I was so touched by this.  People I don’t know that reached out.  I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  It made me smile.
      Unfortumately, lately, my moods have dipped.  I’m semi fine in the morning and by the afternoon I am overwhelmed and by evening trying desperately to find alone time.  I’m very fortunate to have a fantastic family to rely on.  But even then, I feel like a stick in the mud.  Always ruining someone else’s fun as I just don’t have the energy to put on a smile.  It doesn’t sound like a hard task, but it’s bloody hellish at times.
      Last week for example, my poor husband wanted to go to our local-ish archery club, the whole family shoots, my 9 year old daughter shoots, my husbamd and myself.  We have Samick recurve bows.  They’re absolutely beautiful beasts.  I ordinarily LOVE going to shoot. There’s a LOT of great people there. 
     Last week, I made myself go, I had not gone the week prior.  I figured I would enjoy it once I got there.  I was dead wrong.  And I ruined it for my husband.  I felt awful.  This week, it’s every Friday, he’s thinking of not going…. this makes me feel worse.
      Some nights I am better and other nights I’m bloody nigh unbearable.  I know it’s just a shift, my meds will kick back in soon.  I get shifts in mood, not nearly as bad as when I wasn’t medicated, but I still do get those shifts, where everything feels heavy.  I know it will pass, but I hate it while it’s dwelling here.  I just make sure not to miss any of my medications and hope for the best.  Until then, I will be a burden on those around me.

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