Mixed emotions…

Have you ever gone outside when there is a warm breeze in the middle of summer at dusk?  There’s an exhilarating feeling that I get when I go out on an evening like that.  I also get that feeling from time to time when my hypomania hits. 
      Right now, at this very moment I am both relaxed, exhilarated and ready to take on anything while not wanting to do anything as it may detract from the awesome feeling I have.  I may draw today.  Sit down, listen to some music and just ride the good feeling.
       While enjoying this feeling, I am also somewhat hesitant.  Is this going to lead into something worse, will the irritation start taking over?  Right now everything that comes my way is completely captivating and interesting beyond words.  Will this continue and then peter off or will it progress into some mental hell?  For my family as much as for me.  I will enjoy this feeling, but I will remain vigilant.  I’ve not been hypomanic in a long time.  It’s an intoxicating feeling.  I have been taking my meds like clockwwork, I even have an app on my phone that nags me to take them.  Literally, it nags me until I hit the little button that says, “YES! I took the bloody things already!” 
      I must keep track of my moods, did I mention I have an app for that too?  My hypomania starts out feeling like this and quickly descends into a pit of irritation and disgust with the world. 
     I will watch myself. 

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