Moods are a terrible thing.  If they come upon you and you’re not ready, they may cripple you.  My mood has been building for 6 weeks now.  I have bipolar 2 disorder.  I see my psychologist tomorrow and my psychiatrist the next day.  Unfortunately that doesn’t help my poor family that has to deal with my bad and chaotic mood until then.  I am hypo-manic.  Until last week, this meant I was doing more work, drawing more, painting more, taking on more tasks than usual; this week I am too high and am dealing with temper tantrums, mental confusion and inability to cope with problems .  I am finding that every little thing annoys me, my head is not allowing me the luxury of keeping on task long enough to draw a portrait or paint one.  As this is my livelihood, this is a problem.  Not to mention my most important job… I am a mother.  Who cares if I paint or draw?  I am crippled with respect to being as good of a mother as my daughter deserves.  I try, and she reassures me that she is happy with her mommy, but is it a daughter’s role to reassure mommy? Mental illness is a scary thing, we, as the mentally ill, are scared to admit that we are not the model parents that society asks of us, as we are scared of losing our most precious friend, our child or children, but we must be honest.  We must admit that we have our faults.  We are brutally aware of our failings.  I love my daughter with all of my being, and she keeps me from going too far into “unknown” territory.  I have a moral compass now, due to my family.  I am ever grateful to my husband and daughter for making life worth living again.  That’s not to say that I don’t go off course though.  I am still only human.  I will endeavour to live each day as it comes.